Saturday, April 30, 2005

A Tale of Two Treasures- Sahara vs. National Treasure
If you just looked at the elements, the characters and plot devices of these two films side by side you'd be hard pushed to tell them apart. Yet, despite all the thematic similarities, they are completely different. Neither one is Citizen Kane (I think, I haven't actually watched Citizen Kane yet), but one is a top example of its type, and the other is awful. One is so likeable you revel in its silliness, the other is just stupid.

To break down a few of the common elements and compare them side by side-

The beginning. In each case the film opens with a flashback incorporating an important point in America's history. Sahara's is a competent mini tale in its own right, as a Confederate ironclad, laden with a mysterious cargo, braves cannon fire and a blockade to put to sea and never be seen again. National Treasure's opener seems to involve whatever ancient culture's costumes were available that day and lots of smashing of holes in walls as the Knights Templar amass a fortune to take to the States. (Because, naturally, the world's wealth doesn't belong to the peoples whose countries generate it, it's all America's.) There the treasure is hoarded and hidden from The English until after the war of independence. In fact, it's almost completely forgotten, until one of the signatories of the Declaration of Independence meets the hero's great great whatever, whispers the word "Rosebud" and let's a snowglobe fall from his dead hand. No, hold on a minute, that was Citizen Kane again, wasn't it?

The Hero- I guess there's more to Dirk Pitt, given his existence in literary form since 1973. Matthew McConaughey brings the one and a bit dimensional character off the page and makes him a charming ex-military good ole boy with a thing for history. Cage plays Benjamin Franklin Pearce Gates in National Treasure- the latest in a long line of historians doomed to be haunted by the mystery of Rosebud and likely to die lonely and bitter if he can't solve the mystery of the treasure- as an annoying savant with an accent that makes you want to cut off a bit of his tongue because it's obviously too big for his mouth and making him slur.

The love interest- Penelope Cruz or some blandly pretty blonde with long legs? No contest, really.

The comedy sidekick- Al Giordano, like Pitt, has been around in the books for years. He's played with just the right mix of competence, sarcasm and eye rolling oh-no-not-again! to keep from being annoying. I can't even remember the name of National Treasure's CS, but I did want him to die in some meaningless way so Cage could quiver his lip briefly before getting on with snogging the blonde lady.

There are other overlaps- renowned character actors in secondary roles, a long lost ship, "foreigners" (French or British) as bad guys etc. And in each case, Sahara is the superior product. It's also, because of the books and the way it ends, set up for a series of films.

I'll keep the summing up short- ignore National Treasure, see Sahara.



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posted by Ian at 4:52 PM
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Friday, April 29, 2005

"You're not from 'round here, are you?"

 Apparently I spent some of today in "the most Chav town in Cumbria". It's bollocks of course, and people like the mayor of Cleator Moor should learn to ignore sites like Chavtown. I think some officials believe that because it's on the internet with its own domain name then the site must be authoritatuive, rather than the work of bored surfers saying the most outrageous things they can think of behind the cloak of anonymity (as opposed to Spinneyhead, where I often say the most outrageous thing I can think of in the full knowledge that everyone knows who I am.)

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posted by Ian at 8:31 PM
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Thursday, April 28, 2005

Long Weekend

 Posting is going to be light to non-existent between now and Tuesday. Amongst other things I have a funeral and a wedding to go to, both of which are going to require a bit of travelling. I'll try to moblog, but my phone's being temperamental with e-mails at the moment.

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posted by Ian at 5:27 PM
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PII

 The Guardian has pulled an article from its website that explained why the "Ricin Plot" paranoia surrounding the Bourgass trial was bullshit. All they will say is that it is a legal matter, involving a Public Interest Immunity Certificate issued by the Department of Defence. The Register explains why this is all bollocks and suggests a cover up.

via Honourable Fiend

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posted by Ian at 5:17 PM
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Money, Money, Money

 Well, my first Adsense payment is in the process of being transferred. $100-and-something translates to roughly �66, which isn't bad, but it took me a while to get there. So the next phase of the monetisation of Spinneyhead is simple- I must make enough money in May to reach the payout level by the end of the month. Given that I'll enter the month with about $37 in the bank, that means I have to average just over $2 a day. I'm sure I can do it, and I have a few plans for how. Look out for more videos, including one with original footage rather than just stuff I found hiding on the 'Net.

Then the plan for June is to get more than $100 in a month.........

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posted by Ian at 3:44 PM
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Hardcore Boy Porn

 I've mentioned that I'm using the Indy radio programme to download and rate music. I think I've found my first Must Buys- A B C Teens. From their page at Vitaminic-
Hello!! We are 3 very sexy Yorkshire girls. Amanda (16) Becci (17) and Charlotte (16) and we know what boys like, so COME AND LISTEN!!

Got to love the cartoony home page as well. Download their songs from here.

Hardcore Boy Porn (MP3, 2.7mB)

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posted by Ian at 10:37 AM
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The Attorney General, he say No

 This leaked document is all over the news today. It's in horribly painful legalese, but the gist of it seems to be that invading Iraq was of dubious legality/ outright illegal without a second UN resolution (and stop blaming the French for all your troubles you wanker, they're more in touch with world opinion than you are [I paraphrase]).


Honourable Fiend does a better job of summing it up.

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posted by Ian at 9:38 AM
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