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No.one told them they should have ketchup. Link to this post! Link to this post! Link to this post! Link to this post! Link to this post! In the wrong car park, of course. Link to this post! Link to this post! This year’s Bogle Stroll is March 6th-7th. Alex and I are entering, probably as Team Ike with baby Bogle Ikes fastened to our bikes. (That sentence will probably only make sense to ten people.) If the weather’s favourable and I can get the training in I’m aiming for four loops of the roll route, about 104 miles, because I’ve managed three loops each of the times I’ve tried previously. The bike is better this year, but sadly the body isn’t. I haven’t found a way to take donations online yet, but if you want to sponsor either of us please email or comment and tell me how much. If you do want to make a donation online, go to Sue’s page and help her go to Zambia this Summer. If she can raise enough they’ll send her back to us rather than making her hitch home. Link to this post! I found this picture, but no sign of the faculty of arty-farty subjects ones yet. The Ed mobile. This was a support vehicle on teh 1993 or 1994 Bogle Stroll, I’m not sure which. The silhouette in the driver’s seat is almost certainly Peter Larkham and the guy in the middle seat will be John Bilham. I haven’t a clue who the bloke in the yellow jacket is, but the person walking toward the van is Richard Ambler, Bogle warlord that year or the one previous. Link to this post! They don’t make Rag stunts like they used to. In 1966 a bunch of Manchester Raggies scaled the fences at Stonehenge and left behind 16 Bogles- stick figure likenesses of the Rag mascot. You couldn’t do that nowaays, what with all the security paranoia. Time to confes a couple of my own Rag indiscretions, all over a decade old. I was the man who painted a banner with “UMIST Faculty of arty-farty subjects and Mickey Mouse degrees” which was hung on the front of Manchester University students’ union one Rag week. I took pictures, but I don’t know if I still have copies. I was also one of the conspirators in the kidnapping of Ed- the ESCA drinking bunny. Whilst on a raid North of the border we rescued the unfortunate rabbit from captivity in the offices of the Edinburgh Students Charity Appeal (or Association, I can’t remember) and took him back to Manchester where he lived a pampered life. Apart from that time we tied him to the front of a van and drove him around supporting the Bogle Stroll, of course. I don’t know where Ed is now. Can anyone tell me? Manchester Rag homepage. Recently refurbished and with one of my pictures on the front page. Link to this post! For some reason this picture didn’t make it to Spinneyhead when it was sent on Saturday morning. Link to this post! In the 48th Manchester Scout Group hut, otherwise known as checkpoint 6 of the Bogle. Link to this post! Bogle checkpoint 9. Also known as 1st Clifton scouts. Link to this post! In fact, here is the whole 100 Things list as it currently stands. I’ve updated links but not any of the aims. Reminders of things I have done are welcome, as are suggestions for removal and replacement. (Some of the later Things name the people who came up with them during a drunken brainstorming session.) 1. Play croquet I don’t even know the rules to croquet. 2. Play strip croquet Ah, the effect that Heathers can have on you. 3. Cycle the Coast to Coast 4. Keep a tidy house Without calling in any sort of housekeeping services. 5. Live for (at least) three months in another country
Already done that. 6. Try to get elected What to, I don’t know. 7. Take part in a threesome Yes, I know I’m not even participating in any twosomes at the moment, but this is a long term list. (And if I do achieve this one, I probably won’t announce it.) 8. Take part in a foursome 9. Take part in an orgy Is an orgy 5 or more? Or is there an official lower limit to an orgy? Are there different imperial and metric orgies? 10. Make it into the Popdex (and/or Blogdex) top 100 Which will be good all round. If I can manage to make it onto the list regularly, even better. Edit Popdex has started behaving oddly, I’ll settle for getting on the Blogsnow list instead.
12. Make a living from writing 13. Make a film It doesn’t have to be a feature length movie, but that would be the next step. 14. Get out of debt I’ll discount any mortgage from this requirement, and just allow for clearing overdrafts and loans.
16. Climb the highest peaks in each country of the United Kingdom 17. Learn to juggle 18. Build a model village 19. Upset the Daily Mail so much that they run a story about me being a threat to the nation’s morals 20. Visit the beaches of D-Day, and the little town of Quenast my grandparents’ house was named after 21. Visit Pearl Harbour 22. Read Moby Dick Gratuitous Zelig reference. 23. Get interviewed by Richard and Judy Or a passable equivalent. 24. Own a Land Rover And actually use it for off roading. 25. Have a bike for every day of the week Mountain bike, Jump bike/BMX, road bike, recumbent, folding, commuter, unicycle. 26. Give a grand to charity Not raise a grand, but give one. Raising a grand should be possible, especially if I do 27. 27. Do over a hundred miles on the Bogle Roll My plan for next year’s Roll. I’ll need to get another of my 7 bikes to do it. 28. Learn to snowboard 29. Get a dog But not whilst I’m living in the city. 30. Own a thousand CDs (or have 100 Gbytes of MP3s on my computer.) I’m going to cheat and allow CD singles in this. 31. Attend the Glastonbury festival
34. Propose to someone 35. Fly in a hot air balloon 36. Go to a shooting range 37. Spend a whole day watching all three of the Lord of the Rings films back to back Extended cuts. 38. Buy a house 39. Own a piece of Microsoft
First done here, then conclusively here, here and here. And regularly since. 41. Canoe on the Thames 42. Figure out the question 43. Brew beer 44. Learn a new language Spoken, not computer. And not Klingon. 45. Start a craze 46. Make love in a hammock This one inspired by The Sure Thing 47. Visit every continent 48. Fly a helicopter 49. Build a tree house 50. Hold a party for a hundred people 51. Make love outdoors The roundabout incident doesn’t count as it was unplanned, drunken horniness. However, I could go for getting 46 at the same time. 52. Join the Mile High Club 53. Join the Mile Low Club In a cave or down a mine. 54. Join the Two Metres High club On a train. Sleeper carriages count. 55. Exceed 40mph on a bike Downhill counts. 56. Build a house 57. Learn to play a musical instrument 58. Get a signed letter from a serving head of state Probably not going to be Tony, though. 59. Break a record Even if it is for the silliest ‘Hundred things to do’ list.
61. Appear on Have I Got News For You? This will probably be just before or just after offending the Daily Mail. 62. Swim with Dolphins It was going to be swim with monkeys, but I reckon any mammal will do 63. Visit Japan Kawaii 64. Get a HGV or Motorcyle licence The motorcycle licence would be cooler, but I value my limbs the shape they are. 65. Learn Morse code 66. Attend Burning Man There were also plans to create a BM equivalent in the Scottish Highlands, to be called Soggy Man. 67. Dance naked in the rain 68. Drive a race/ rally car 69. Fulfil Sabs’ dream of seeing me walk out of Lyme Park lake wearing breeches. Penny. Well, it was Sabs’ idea originally, but Penny added it to the list.
Zoe. I asked Zoe if she’d pose naked for me, but she said no. Shame. I’ve also widened the scope to posing for anything, just to improve my chances. Any volunteers? 71. Play UV pool Daz. 72. Do roman chariot racing with big fat men in place of horses. Zoe. This is a far nicer version of Lesley’s suggestion of ‘Become a pony boy.’ 73. Flash at a concert audience Penny. Originally ‘Flash at a Status Quo audience’ but I’ve expanded it. 74. Be a model at an Ann Summers party Penny. 75. Swim the full length of the Bridgewater Canal Penny. So long as I don’t have to do it in the actual canal. 76. Learn the national anthems of the Six Nations Penny and Lesley. 77. Design a sex toy Zoe and Penny. Full description- ‘Design a sex toy and advertise for testers and reach quality standards for ISO and BSS’. By setting such stringent conditions they just volunteered to be the first testers. There then followed a brainstorming session on what would make a perfect sex toy, the notes from which will form the basis of a future post. This project is under way. After posting the list of recommended features, I received quite a peak in hits. I have now moved on to the shopping list for building the test version. In the meantime, there is a range of Perfect Sex Toy clothing- Ladies top, Ladies Tank Top and Long Sleeve T Shirt. 78. Be an extra on a TV programme. Emily. She originally stipulated Hollyoaks, but it was decided I wasn’t blonde enough. 79. Buy lingerie for a woman Penny. In person, from a shop. Original conditions- ‘Buy a woman a thermal vest in person from Pleasure and a matching set from Kendals including peep hole bra and crotchless knickers whilst dressed in a flowery dress.’ 80. Buy the Pete Waterman (SAW) compilation album Penny. She insists it’s not because she’s too ashamed to buy it herself. It could have been worse, she could have suggested the karaoke version 81. Learn to salsa Penny and Lesley. I’d also like to learn to make the perfect salsa dip. 82. Have sex in an ambulance or hearse Penny and Harry. Originally an ambulance or ‘vehicle of the dead’ while on the move. 83. Grow a bonsai tree Penny. A bit of wishful thinking considering I killed my last two bonsai. My sister did buy me The Art of the Bonsai Potato for Christmas. 84. Have a drink in every CAMRA pub in Manchester Harry. Originally it also said ‘within one week’ but I edited that out.
What they actually do is put your name on a board in the pub and, allegedly, get you a tankard engraved with your name. Anyway, the challenge has been done, and recorded here and up. Pictures. 86. Get zipped up in a US style body bag. Harry. Only if I can take a big knife in to cut my way out. 87. Create art using my body. Penny. Originally ‘Create modern art using your body and any other body using bandages, plaster of paris and vaseline and get it displayed in a gallery.’ 88. Get a piece of art displayed in a gallery Me, but inspired by 87. I’m allowed to do a Banksy. 89. See a psychiatrist Penny. After some of these suggestions I’ll have to. 90. See a psychosexual counsellor Penny. See above. And I think this should also apply to some of the people supplying suggestions. 91. Bowl on the Bowling Green again. Emily. That is, the bowling green that used to be in front of UMIST union. They’ve done horrible things to it. Does boules count? 92. Attend a televised awards ceremony 93. Learn a programming language Properly, not in the half arsed way I learnt to gaffer tape routines together in VBA. Griff says that C# is quite a lucrative area to be in.
This was actually Griff’s aim, but I stole it. This aim has been removed from the list. 95. Get a free crate of Glenfiddich Sometimes breweries will gift crates of their products to writers who mention them. I’m also open to offers of Jennings Sneck Lifter. 96. Go scuba diving on the Great Barrier Reef 97. Get as close to an active volcano as possible 98. Attend a gala movie premiere Hell, if Rebecca Loos can do it, so can I. But I’m not shagging any footballers except 99. Publish a cook book My sister’s been promising to write one for a while now. I must get her to finish it. 100. Get ‘Ian Seat’ into the OED Being the position in a crowded room, bar, etc, which has the least advantageous view for eyeing up members of the opposite sex. 101. Burn all my CDs to MP3 102. Eat in, or from, every restaurant and kebabery in Rusholme. Which could be a year or so’s work. Longer, considering how rarely I eat out. It’s not called the Curry Mile for nothing. This replaces 94. 103. Go Guerilla Gardening Next spring I’m walking around Manchester with a stick and a pocket full of seeds. I’m going to plant peas and herbs and other veg in flowerbeds and hedges. 104. Follow the route of the M60 by bike Utilising side streets, riverbanks and paths. 105. Appear in a TV commercial. Because they pay residuals. If it got shown enough, I could almost live off it. 106. Make love with a cheerleader. Every American boy’s dream. 105 and 106 are provisional. If no-one can come up with better suggestions, they stay! Technorati tag: List, 100 Things Link to this post! |
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